tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
