I'm so fucking centered right now
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
