Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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