you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
