go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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