dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
