Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
