have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
