i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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