My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
