We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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