I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
