Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
