Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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