He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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