so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I've blown a few things in my day
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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