Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
