so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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