Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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