He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
