I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
