Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
