I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
