just come out here and I will go home with you...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
