"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
