yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
