Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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