hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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