You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he puts the penis in happiness.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
