What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
