office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
