You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
