Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
