The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
