question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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