You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
