well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
