...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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