All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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