these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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