Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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