I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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