was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
