I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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