Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
