when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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