Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
