Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
