hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
