HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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