the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
