Well douche your snatch and let's go!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
