that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
