so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
