i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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